How to make long-distance friendships work

When I was 7, my best friend moved to Scotland. It may as well have been the other side of the world! Our mums were best friends and we spent every spare moment together, in and out of each other’s houses.

And then, she was gone. We both found it hard and missed each other terribly., but over time fell into a new cadence as long-distance friends. We spent hours on the phone, bringing each other up to date on the minutiae of our days. We learned the beauty of writing (and receiving) letters through the post. Most of all, we looked forward to our twice-yearly catch-ups (one at hers, one at mine) in the school holidays. 

35 years later we are still friends. We both have jobs, and families, and busy lives (she still lives in Scotland 🤷) but we value our life-long friendship.

So, “What’s the secret?” I hear you ask. If I’m honest, I think it mainly boils down to effort. Long distance friendships take effort. On both sides. 

Here are my top tips to make long-distance friendships work.

Be organised

My diary is a nightmare. Trying to organise catch-ups with friends is like trying to coordinate a military operation.

For that reason, it is vital for me to be organised and plan in regular catch-ups that can go into my diary. Life is busy and time flies by. It is easy to suddenly realise you haven’t spoken to someone for 6 months.

One of my favourite features of the SoonCall app is the catch-up planner. You can plan calls with the calendar tool to stay in touch with your closest friends. Set catch-up frequency and reminders to never miss a birthday, key date, or check-in.

Have empathy

As I mentioned, long-distance friendships take effort from both sides. You both need to make time in your busy schedules to communicate. However, the key to being a good friend is to have patience and understanding. There will be times when your friend might be too busy to chat, or one of you has to cancel a catch-up. And that’s okay.

Embrace the ebbs and flows in your communication and understand that it is part of the process.

Try to remember the details

When life is busy, I often find it hard to remember the little details different friends told me the last time we spoke. When were they planning to go on holiday? How are they getting on in their new job? 

SoonCall’s catch-up tracking feature is a lifesaver for me. After every call, I make sure I rate and leave notes on how the catch-up went and what we talked about. I’ll also use the calendar feature to drop in notes and reminders (Paula is running a marathon in October - remember to wish her good luck!) so I never forget.

Mix it up!

Don’t just rely on one method of communication. I try to utilise a broad range - from quick messages on WhatsApp, to video calls and virtual events. Over the years, I’ve found this to be the most effective way to keep long distance conversations fresh, interesting and something we both look forward to.

Some of my most rewarding and strongest friendships have (at least at some point) been long-distance friendships. Fundamentally, it comes down to you both putting in the time and effort to maintain your friendship. 

If you’re looking for new ways to make long-distance friendships work, download SoonCall today and start strengthening your relationships with every call.