Friendships are built on shared experiences, communication, and trust. But what happens when distance enters the equation? Do long-distance friendships truly stand the test of time, or do they gradually fade?
We tapped into our network of friends and connections to get some unique perspectives on the challenges of long-distance friendships and some ideas and tips on how to keep connections strong.
Long-distance friendships face some unique hurdles. If you’ve ever experienced a distanced relationship, some of these may be familiar!
If you’re the person who moves away, it can be really hard to keep up with the changing group dynamics. If you’re not fully in the loop, it can be easy to feel detached and out of sync.
“It’s a bit more difficult, especially for some of my friends who don’t live close, where people in the same location keep doing things face to face.”
Being in regular contact is a muscle that you need to exercise, until it becomes second-nature. It’s something you need to commit to, so typically only the strongest relationships will survive.
“In my experience, long distance friendships take a lot work - it’s so easy to drift out of contact.”
If it has been a while since you spoke, it can sometimes be difficult to know what to say or how to pick up the conversation. Friendship is a two-way street, and it’s easy to become disillusioned.
“Sometimes you hesitate to message, but then you think, ‘Well, they haven’t reached out either,’ and it becomes a cycle.”
You might feel like you need a reason to get in touch, but research has shown that, more often than not, a friend will appreciate you making the effort.
Different life trajectories
Interests and priorities can evolve over time. Sometimes it can be hard to stay aligned with friends when you are living in different countries, or cultures and having vastly different life experiences.
“I feel like some of my friends from uni have changed into such different people now - we have very different views of the world.”
Despite these challenges, long-distance friendships can flourish. We asked our network for their top tips and experiences of keeping friendships alive with friends who live far away.
Instant messaging, calls, and video chats help maintain the connection, but it is important to make time for a real connection.
“WhatsApp groups help, but I find the 1-on-1 chats require more attention and give you a better feeling. You are more present in the conversation and we always end up talking about random things!”
During the Covid lockdowns, we got used to catching up with friends digitally (at one point, I was involved in about 5 different group quiz calls - it was like a full-time job 😅), but this has since fallen out of favour for many people.
If you have friends far away, an online shared activity could be a great way for you to connect and spend some quality time together.
“Online activities really enforce my friendships - gaming works because we just talk online. There is less pressure as you have something else to focus on, so it helps me to relax into a conversation.”
Sending updates, making visits when possible, and finding ways to keep interactions meaningful are all really important ways to keep connections strong. If you keep putting in the effort, your friendships have a great chance of standing the test of time.
However, the longer it goes between in-depth catchups, the harder it becomes to keep the friendship alive.
“Keeping a “remote” friendship alive for longer than a year is very difficult in my experience.”
Modern tools make it easier than ever to maintain friendships. Social media, messaging apps, and gaming platforms all provide ways to stay engaged. However, technology can only do so much; multiple studies have shown that digital interactions lead to weaker connections and can have a negative impact on mental wellbeing.
The SoonCall mobile app acts as a friendship tracker, helping you stay connected by setting reminders for catchups and tracking communication patterns. For those who struggle with maintaining consistent communication, SoonCall provides smart reminders and lets you track interactions with contacts, ensuring that friendships don’t unintentionally fade due to busy schedules. By integrating structured communication into daily life, the app helps you nurture your relationships with minimal effort.
For many, long-distance friendships work in the short to medium term but become harder to sustain beyond a year. Others find that their strongest connections stand the test of time.
“I’ve kept some good old friends from the village where I was raised. It’s interesting that whenever I’m with them, it feels like time hasn’t passed.”
Long-distance friendships demand effort, but they can be incredibly rewarding. While some naturally fade, others thrive and stand the test of time. The key lies in adaptability, communication, and a willingness to nurture the connection.
“With my uni friends, since I’m less likely to meet them, we try to do something special, like go on a trip together, or attend a rock show.”
Have you got any stories or tips on how you keep your long distance friendships alive? Drop us a line and let us know!
Our mobile app is now available on iOS! Scan the QR code, or visit the App Store to download.
